Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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