you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize