I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
