Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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