She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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