he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
