that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
this hospital has no fireball
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
