Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
