she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
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I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
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Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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