I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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