i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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