If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
