i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Your penis caused this!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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