yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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