bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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