Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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