You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
