need another drink. this is the easiest way
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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