Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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