you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
