So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
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