Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
