There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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