69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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