We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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