why didn't you poke me back
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
