Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize