Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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