look no pants
Please, let me fuck your mom
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
