do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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