I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
