rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
