why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
even my farts smell like vagina
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
