Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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