Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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