Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
