I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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