so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
love makes seman taste better
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
