I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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