I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
