I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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