Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize