I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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