the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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