If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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