Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
