I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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