so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it glows. i had to have it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
