kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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