i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
