I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
