$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
me + whiskey = a bad person
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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