i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's shark week go big or go home
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
