Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
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Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
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I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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