You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
