im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
pray to the hookup gods
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
