I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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