We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
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Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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