i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
